You’ve argued, cried, and given up, this is real group work.
Who hasn’t crashed during group work?
Just last night, I was scrolling through my circle of friends and saw a screenshot of a chat posted by my school girl. The words "Are you there", "Please" and "DDL tonight" were everywhere on the screen. The text she added read: "One person's war is chaotic, but the years of a few people are peaceful."
I stared at those words for a long time.
Recalling the project roadshow when I was a sophomore, I almost broke off with my friends. To this day, I still remember that afternoon. The incandescent lights in the conference room buzzed and the smell of instant noodles filled the air. Xiao Yang insisted on using Plan A, claiming that the data was sufficient; but Xiao Zhou insisted on using Plan B, believing that creativity would win. At the end of the argument, Xiao Zhou dropped his pen and said, "Then you go ahead and do it. It won't work anyway."
The moment the door slammed shut, the conference room suddenly became eerily quiet.
After ten o'clock that night, Xiao Zhou suddenly sent a voice message to our group. The background sound was quite noisy, as if he was on the side of the road. She said that when she was eating oden in a convenience store, she saw a crumpled piece of paper stuck behind the cashier, which read "Everyone adds firewood to the flames." "I just feel that I have been rejected," her voice was slightly hoarse. "In fact, you don't have to choose me, but... can you talk to me calmly."
In fact, there is no deep hatred, it is just a desire to be seen and heard .
Division of labor? Doesn't exist. What exists is "who can't stand it first?"
The hardest thing is not the disagreement, but the division of labor.
You must have seen this situation before: you posted a task in a group, and suddenly fell into a dead silence. Three hours later, someone said softly, "I'll do the PPT," and five minutes later, "Thank you for your hard work" was neatly copied and pasted below.
Then it became a one-man show.
A friend confided to me that she alone took on 80% of the group's tasks. After the final presentation, the teacher said, "This group did a good job." The two classmates who had not done much work stood aside and laughed extremely happily. It's as if you ran the marathon with all your might, and someone followed you to the finish line in a sightseeing car, and in the end the exact same medal was awarded.
I have remembered this for a long time.
Then, that friend became smarter, and every time he formed a team next time, he would invite everyone to the cafeteria on the first day, and while chewing chicken legs, he would make it clear and clear: Are you eager to get high scores, or just want to pass? Are you planning to do something creative, or are you willing to do those complicated and trivial tasks? Only when the goals are agreed upon can we move forward smoothly.
It sounds utilitarian, but it's really useful.
Suddenly I remembered "Six Feet Alley"
Just a while ago, I read a news report about a community that was committed to creating a harmonious atmosphere among neighbors and used the story of "Six Feet Alley" to persuade everyone to be courteous to each other. The sentence "Building books thousands of miles away is just for a wall, so why not let him be three feet away" seems to bring a warm feeling when I read it out.
But our generation seems to be less and less able to "give in".
It’s not that I don’t want to give in, but that I have fear. The fear is that once I choose to give in, I will be seen as weak; I am worried that if I choose to back down, all the work will be piled on my head; I am worried that if I communicate well, I will be seen as easy to bully.
In fact, after the project ended, we organized a review meeting. Among them, Xiao Zhou said that she slammed the door and walked out because she felt that no one listened to what she said. In addition, Xiao Yang said that he insisted on using Plan A because he spent three nights checking the data and was really reluctant to give up those results. During the narration process, some people cried, some handed over tissues, and some whispered, "I myself did something wrong."
That day, we just discovered that everyone had hidden grievances in their hearts, but before that, no one was willing to speak first.
Effective communication is actually not that advanced
Then I figured something out.
Calling it communication does not necessarily mean reaching a consensus, but rather making everyone feel like "I was heard."
Just like that time in the convenience store, just like that time in the cafeteria for review, just like what we agreed later: to meet once a week, even if it is just sitting facing each other and doing our own things. Some words are difficult to express clearly through typing, and misunderstandings can easily occur across the screen. However, speaking in person, the other person's expression, tone, and even silence can help you understand more.
real.
Even if there are still quarrels, even if there are still cases where someone is lazy, at least you know that no one in this group wants to drive anyone crazy.
the last the last
That project finally won the second prize.
Although it was not particularly outstanding, the four of us printed the certificate into four copies and each of us kept one. To this day, that piece of paper is still stuck on my desk, and its corners are already slightly rolled up.
When I look up at that time, I still remember the afternoon when I slammed the door, and the night when I sent a voice message in the convenience store.
Group work, fundamentally speaking, does not require you to master how to cooperate with others, but it requires you to know how to be willing to try again when you encounter disappointment, when you experience grievances, when you are not understood.
I have argued, cried, and given up.
Then the next day, continue to talk, continue to revise, and continue to endure.
This is probably the truest form of growth.
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